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This is 18 SX content Entry... Leave if u r not 18 yet... (What the...)
Last Saturday was a Camel T** day. This happened due to the fact that I found out what it means on that day. I'd never been told about it before. But I learned a new vocabulary while watching Akademi Fantasia with my sis's family, in her living room.
I felt kinda embarrassed as I don't know what it is in a group of people who were actually arguing about it. I felt funnily stupid but at the same time lost and naive.
16 March 2009
13 March 2009
I dreamed of a poet
I dreamed of a poet. Not old but wise. He told me about a lot of things; things that I have never thought I'd face. The uncertainty of living. The beliefs that I have never jeopardized. The way the world go around from other perspectives. Is this another task? I asked, but silence filled the air as I lay in bed thinking.
I dreamed of a poet. Faceless as he might be but his voice sang through the ears of mine. He told me of promises and trusts - the other side of them that I have never thought of questioning. He told me that we trust others but reserve questions of the opposite. He told me that we make promises, we keep some of them but we have to break most of them. He told me that we do what we do as our heart skips and speaks.
I dreamed of a poet. A poet of love and relationship. He told me that we can never lie our heart and how we feel but we know what is right and what is not. He told me that we are human - and that we are special when we are exactly the same as others. We love the ones we love and we love more as we move on. And to stay with the same person will be a true virtue of sacrifice and truthfulness. We strive and strive and we know what we want.
I dreamed of a poet. A poet of wisdom and faith. He told me that we are who we are and we can never go wrong as we believe in what we do. We guide our feelings with wisdom that we gathered in the journey called life. With wisdom comes faith. And with faith we fulfill the destiny that we are destined. Yes, the future is something that we can't predict but today is what we are dealing with. We make the best out of what we have. Although we have everything we want, but there are somethings we always need. Something ordinary that differs from the things we want but we realize the importance of their presence in our life.
I dreamed of a POET and I am utterly glad that I met the POET - who showed the reality of the other side that I have never ventured in thinking both silently and articulately. I hope, now, I really can think about it without fear of any sort.
I dreamed of a poet. Faceless as he might be but his voice sang through the ears of mine. He told me of promises and trusts - the other side of them that I have never thought of questioning. He told me that we trust others but reserve questions of the opposite. He told me that we make promises, we keep some of them but we have to break most of them. He told me that we do what we do as our heart skips and speaks.
I dreamed of a poet. A poet of love and relationship. He told me that we can never lie our heart and how we feel but we know what is right and what is not. He told me that we are human - and that we are special when we are exactly the same as others. We love the ones we love and we love more as we move on. And to stay with the same person will be a true virtue of sacrifice and truthfulness. We strive and strive and we know what we want.
I dreamed of a poet. A poet of wisdom and faith. He told me that we are who we are and we can never go wrong as we believe in what we do. We guide our feelings with wisdom that we gathered in the journey called life. With wisdom comes faith. And with faith we fulfill the destiny that we are destined. Yes, the future is something that we can't predict but today is what we are dealing with. We make the best out of what we have. Although we have everything we want, but there are somethings we always need. Something ordinary that differs from the things we want but we realize the importance of their presence in our life.
I dreamed of a POET and I am utterly glad that I met the POET - who showed the reality of the other side that I have never ventured in thinking both silently and articulately. I hope, now, I really can think about it without fear of any sort.
10 March 2009
My Father and His Small Little Things
Don't get me wrong reading the title people, but that's the truth.
Me and hub had an argument yesterday - I would say a good one. It makes me understand him more and him, lets put it that he understands me better now. People say that, if there are too many differences in the partners in the relationship, they can't last that long. But, I beg to differ. Today, however, I am not going to tell you about our differences; let that be to another day. Today, I am going to reminisce the way my parents love each other and how they love their children - all three; Martha, Edmund and Adrian.
1) Find a reason to CELEBRATE!!
My father, whom I called Baba, celebrated everything that can be celebrated. There was one time when I got 3rd place in my secular education school, and I got the highest marks for my Arabic Language. He didn't throw me a huge party with Celine Dion singing in my hall - though I still keep my fingers crossed, but he printed me a cute card saying congratulation and how he loved me so. In another event, we celebrated Christmast with real oven-roasted turkey drumsticks - and we spent 2 days finishing the drumsticks and up till now we still laugh at the memories.
2) Celebrate DATES!!
Baba is particular when it comes to dates. He remembers dates, important ones especially. A major occasion for that would be Birthdays, Anniversaries, New Borns and even Dates of Death of our relatives. When I say birthdays it does not only cover family, it reaches out to neighbors and friends. To celebrate this, my dad would buy cards and asked us to put down our wishes and signature. Sometimes, he would buy ingredients and my mom and I would cook together in the kitchen. I have to say that is so rare to do these days as I am extremely busy. One event that I wouldn't want to forget is Edmund's birthday where he brought us all to Victoria Station to have an expensive dinner. Next was my mothers' 18th of July, middle of the month, what he did really touched me. After Edmund's birthday which was on the twelve of July, each morning, Baba would put a long stalk of rose, untreated, at places my mom would definitely go every morning. He put one in the washing machine, the next day in the fridge, another one at the front door, another one on the vacume cleaner, and the last one on the dining table with a complete set of English Breakfast - scrambled eggs, chicken ham, sausages, mushroom soup and buns - we (Edmund, Baba and I) were partners in crime!! All of this was just to celebrate dates. And I kinda miss that. Hehehe...
3) The love of Baba to My mom.
They don't go off to honeymoon, instead they celebrates little things that surprised their days and nights as husband and wife. Baba would call my mom to brew up coffee or tea so that they could have a cute tea time together at 5 or 530 pm everyday without fail without the kids (as we were very busy with co-curriculum and extra evening activities). He would buy some banana fritters and kuihs, sat on the dining table, over looking the balcony with wildly blooming flowers that Baba planted - It is one of his passion to plant beautiful shrubs and flowers (among his favs is the Jasmine and Santhalia). They would talk about their days and what they did and interesting events. They also shared sad moments there, at the dining table facing the balcony with wildly blooming-scented flowers. Whenever they have problems, they would discuss there, of course putting us to sleep first and talk and talk throughout the night at the same spot, looking at the stars and the moon. Baba loves to surprise my mom - which what we (my mom, Edmund and I) inherit up till now. we love to surprise others and sometimes one of us expected surprises but we planned it out to make it not the usual type of surprise. I really miss those moments.
Baba is no longer with us now. But the little things he did will always be remembered as we move on. They are somethings we treasure everyday and we carry with us every where we go...
Me and hub had an argument yesterday - I would say a good one. It makes me understand him more and him, lets put it that he understands me better now. People say that, if there are too many differences in the partners in the relationship, they can't last that long. But, I beg to differ. Today, however, I am not going to tell you about our differences; let that be to another day. Today, I am going to reminisce the way my parents love each other and how they love their children - all three; Martha, Edmund and Adrian.
1) Find a reason to CELEBRATE!!
My father, whom I called Baba, celebrated everything that can be celebrated. There was one time when I got 3rd place in my secular education school, and I got the highest marks for my Arabic Language. He didn't throw me a huge party with Celine Dion singing in my hall - though I still keep my fingers crossed, but he printed me a cute card saying congratulation and how he loved me so. In another event, we celebrated Christmast with real oven-roasted turkey drumsticks - and we spent 2 days finishing the drumsticks and up till now we still laugh at the memories.
2) Celebrate DATES!!
Baba is particular when it comes to dates. He remembers dates, important ones especially. A major occasion for that would be Birthdays, Anniversaries, New Borns and even Dates of Death of our relatives. When I say birthdays it does not only cover family, it reaches out to neighbors and friends. To celebrate this, my dad would buy cards and asked us to put down our wishes and signature. Sometimes, he would buy ingredients and my mom and I would cook together in the kitchen. I have to say that is so rare to do these days as I am extremely busy. One event that I wouldn't want to forget is Edmund's birthday where he brought us all to Victoria Station to have an expensive dinner. Next was my mothers' 18th of July, middle of the month, what he did really touched me. After Edmund's birthday which was on the twelve of July, each morning, Baba would put a long stalk of rose, untreated, at places my mom would definitely go every morning. He put one in the washing machine, the next day in the fridge, another one at the front door, another one on the vacume cleaner, and the last one on the dining table with a complete set of English Breakfast - scrambled eggs, chicken ham, sausages, mushroom soup and buns - we (Edmund, Baba and I) were partners in crime!! All of this was just to celebrate dates. And I kinda miss that. Hehehe...
3) The love of Baba to My mom.
They don't go off to honeymoon, instead they celebrates little things that surprised their days and nights as husband and wife. Baba would call my mom to brew up coffee or tea so that they could have a cute tea time together at 5 or 530 pm everyday without fail without the kids (as we were very busy with co-curriculum and extra evening activities). He would buy some banana fritters and kuihs, sat on the dining table, over looking the balcony with wildly blooming flowers that Baba planted - It is one of his passion to plant beautiful shrubs and flowers (among his favs is the Jasmine and Santhalia). They would talk about their days and what they did and interesting events. They also shared sad moments there, at the dining table facing the balcony with wildly blooming-scented flowers. Whenever they have problems, they would discuss there, of course putting us to sleep first and talk and talk throughout the night at the same spot, looking at the stars and the moon. Baba loves to surprise my mom - which what we (my mom, Edmund and I) inherit up till now. we love to surprise others and sometimes one of us expected surprises but we planned it out to make it not the usual type of surprise. I really miss those moments.
Baba is no longer with us now. But the little things he did will always be remembered as we move on. They are somethings we treasure everyday and we carry with us every where we go...
24 February 2009
DUA REMPIT DAN SATU SKOOT
REMPIT 1.
Tempat: Balai menunggu tren,
Stesyen LRT (Rapid KL) Setiawangsa.
Pakaian: Baju:
Uniform perkhidmatan Kurier (nama syarikat dirahsiakan demi menjaga nama baik syarikat itu)
Seluar:
Carrot Jeans Hitam (yang macam nak mati dan tengok pown dah tahu betapa busuknye seluar itu)
Aksesori:
Sling beg, helmet (tangan kanan), jam swatch (mesti Danau Kota nyer) dan kasut hitam Pallas (mesti
berbau jugak)
Laporan Kejadian:
Tunggu tren, mamat rempit nie terkenyit - kenyit mata dia kat aku. Nak je g kat depan dia, pegang kepala dia, tengok dalam mata dia lama - lama dan goncang kepala dia sampai sewel. Dah laa aku nie sakit. Nak aje terajang. Masok dalam tren tak abes - abes usha aku. Marah nie!! Haish... Nak aje hayun beg lap top aku yang berat cam dinosor. Kuar tren ngan kekusutan terpampang di wajah ku yang bermata sembab ini.
REMPIT 2
Tempat: Bank CIMB, Selepas tren LRT Masjid Jamek
On the way ke DBKL, Jalan Raja Laut
Pakaian: Baju:
Dia pakai jaket moto (so tak nampak laa baju aper dia pakai)
Seluar:
Cargo Pants - Dockers agaknya (tapi leh tahan nampak busuk)
Aksesori:
Sling beg, helmet (dia pakai kat kepala - windshield terbukak), Pakai cincin batu warna hijau besar
(nampak masa dia nak bukak windshield dia)
Laporan Kejadian:
Berjalan nak catch appointment kol 1030 nih. So agak laju laa melangkah. Macam org marathon pown mungkin ada sikit. Dah laa penat mengheret beg nih. Jalan depan Stesyen LRT tu memang laa slalu sebok. terkocoh - kocoh nak cepat... Tak ramai orang kat pedestrian walk nih. Nampak mat rempit nie macam comel atas moto. Mata kitorg cam terkunci for a few seconds just before aku hampir melanggar papan iklan CIMB yang besar gedabak. Entah bila plak ada papan iklan tuh kat situ tak perasan. Earphone aku kat telinga nie tukar dari lagu Katy Perry - Thinking of You ke ringtone Sony Ericsson yang cikai - cikai je tuh. Aku membentak dalam hati... Taw laa dah nak sampai nie... tak yah laa nak call2.... "Hello, Waalaikum salam. Ya saye, saye dah nampak bangunan DBKL dah nie. Lagik 5 minit saya sampai." aku dengar moto kat belakang aku so aku bagi laluan. dia berhenti betol2 kat tepi aku... Aku jalan die press minyak moto die. Tengok - tengok aku. Haish... not another one... Rupe - rupenye mat rempit yang comel atas moto tadik...
Mat Rempit (MR): Nak gi mane neyh bro jalan cepat - cepat?
Aku: Nak gi bangunan DBKL.
MR: Meh laa naik, aku anta.
Aku: Tak per laa. Thanx. (Muka merah)
MR: Sure tak nak nie bro? Penat taw jalan jaoh2 tuh. dah laa beg cam berat bro. Jom arr...
Aku: Dah dekat. nak exercise. Dah gemok. Lu lambat kang anta parcel tuh (tengok kotak yang melekat kat belakang moto die - muka aku makin merah)
MR: Ok laa bro. Jaga diri baik - baik k. Besok gua anta barang kat area nie lagik dalam kol 1030. Tapi muka tak yah laa merah sangat kkowt ye tak besok ek.
Dia pusing, pecot laju sambil tgk aku kat belakang, senyum. Sorg lagik nak kene sepak dan sepak.
SKOOT.
Tempat: Depan LRT stesyen
Stesyen LRT (Rapid KL) Masjid Jamek.
Pakaian: Baju:
T-shirt berkolar warna purple gelap - tak berapa nak busuk - sangat comel.
Seluar:
Shorts warna coklat
Aksesori:
Kasut besar adidas ke hape ker ntah... ada lukis2 kat tepi... sangat comel... ada lukisan KLCC...
Socks putih pangkal buku lali.
Laporan Kejadian:
Dah gi meeting Pn. Hanim nak tukar jabatan soon. So kene refer to org laen kat Jalan Raja Laut. Tak der mood nak keje dah. Haish... Jalan balik ke stesyen LRT Masjid Jamek. Nampak mamat skoot nie... comel... dia tanggal helmet... rambut perang - perang sikit... panjang... dia btolkan rambut die sambil tgk dalam side mirror die... erm... dia sikat rambut dia pakai tangan letak rambut dia yang agak panjang tuh kat atas mata kanan... sangat comel... kulit putih and ader scar antara pipi dan dagu... dia senyum... aku pown senyum balik... aku tgh dgr katy perry - thinking of you.... lagik.... dia usha sambil senyum - senyum.... aku pown senyum lagik.. and lintas jalan untuk ke stesyen... dia usha agy... senyum agy.... aku senyum and tros jalan masok dalam stesyen LRT Masjid Jamek.... amek tren untuk ke KL Central before taking another train to Setia Jaya....
:)
:D
Tempat: Balai menunggu tren,
Stesyen LRT (Rapid KL) Setiawangsa.
Pakaian: Baju:
Uniform perkhidmatan Kurier (nama syarikat dirahsiakan demi menjaga nama baik syarikat itu)
Seluar:
Carrot Jeans Hitam (yang macam nak mati dan tengok pown dah tahu betapa busuknye seluar itu)
Aksesori:
Sling beg, helmet (tangan kanan), jam swatch (mesti Danau Kota nyer) dan kasut hitam Pallas (mesti
berbau jugak)
Laporan Kejadian:
Tunggu tren, mamat rempit nie terkenyit - kenyit mata dia kat aku. Nak je g kat depan dia, pegang kepala dia, tengok dalam mata dia lama - lama dan goncang kepala dia sampai sewel. Dah laa aku nie sakit. Nak aje terajang. Masok dalam tren tak abes - abes usha aku. Marah nie!! Haish... Nak aje hayun beg lap top aku yang berat cam dinosor. Kuar tren ngan kekusutan terpampang di wajah ku yang bermata sembab ini.
REMPIT 2
Tempat: Bank CIMB, Selepas tren LRT Masjid Jamek
On the way ke DBKL, Jalan Raja Laut
Pakaian: Baju:
Dia pakai jaket moto (so tak nampak laa baju aper dia pakai)
Seluar:
Cargo Pants - Dockers agaknya (tapi leh tahan nampak busuk)
Aksesori:
Sling beg, helmet (dia pakai kat kepala - windshield terbukak), Pakai cincin batu warna hijau besar
(nampak masa dia nak bukak windshield dia)
Laporan Kejadian:
Berjalan nak catch appointment kol 1030 nih. So agak laju laa melangkah. Macam org marathon pown mungkin ada sikit. Dah laa penat mengheret beg nih. Jalan depan Stesyen LRT tu memang laa slalu sebok. terkocoh - kocoh nak cepat... Tak ramai orang kat pedestrian walk nih. Nampak mat rempit nie macam comel atas moto. Mata kitorg cam terkunci for a few seconds just before aku hampir melanggar papan iklan CIMB yang besar gedabak. Entah bila plak ada papan iklan tuh kat situ tak perasan. Earphone aku kat telinga nie tukar dari lagu Katy Perry - Thinking of You ke ringtone Sony Ericsson yang cikai - cikai je tuh. Aku membentak dalam hati... Taw laa dah nak sampai nie... tak yah laa nak call2.... "Hello, Waalaikum salam. Ya saye, saye dah nampak bangunan DBKL dah nie. Lagik 5 minit saya sampai." aku dengar moto kat belakang aku so aku bagi laluan. dia berhenti betol2 kat tepi aku... Aku jalan die press minyak moto die. Tengok - tengok aku. Haish... not another one... Rupe - rupenye mat rempit yang comel atas moto tadik...
Mat Rempit (MR): Nak gi mane neyh bro jalan cepat - cepat?
Aku: Nak gi bangunan DBKL.
MR: Meh laa naik, aku anta.
Aku: Tak per laa. Thanx. (Muka merah)
MR: Sure tak nak nie bro? Penat taw jalan jaoh2 tuh. dah laa beg cam berat bro. Jom arr...
Aku: Dah dekat. nak exercise. Dah gemok. Lu lambat kang anta parcel tuh (tengok kotak yang melekat kat belakang moto die - muka aku makin merah)
MR: Ok laa bro. Jaga diri baik - baik k. Besok gua anta barang kat area nie lagik dalam kol 1030. Tapi muka tak yah laa merah sangat kkowt ye tak besok ek.
Dia pusing, pecot laju sambil tgk aku kat belakang, senyum. Sorg lagik nak kene sepak dan sepak.
SKOOT.
Tempat: Depan LRT stesyen
Stesyen LRT (Rapid KL) Masjid Jamek.
Pakaian: Baju:
T-shirt berkolar warna purple gelap - tak berapa nak busuk - sangat comel.
Seluar:
Shorts warna coklat
Aksesori:
Kasut besar adidas ke hape ker ntah... ada lukis2 kat tepi... sangat comel... ada lukisan KLCC...
Socks putih pangkal buku lali.
Laporan Kejadian:
Dah gi meeting Pn. Hanim nak tukar jabatan soon. So kene refer to org laen kat Jalan Raja Laut. Tak der mood nak keje dah. Haish... Jalan balik ke stesyen LRT Masjid Jamek. Nampak mamat skoot nie... comel... dia tanggal helmet... rambut perang - perang sikit... panjang... dia btolkan rambut die sambil tgk dalam side mirror die... erm... dia sikat rambut dia pakai tangan letak rambut dia yang agak panjang tuh kat atas mata kanan... sangat comel... kulit putih and ader scar antara pipi dan dagu... dia senyum... aku pown senyum balik... aku tgh dgr katy perry - thinking of you.... lagik.... dia usha sambil senyum - senyum.... aku pown senyum lagik.. and lintas jalan untuk ke stesyen... dia usha agy... senyum agy.... aku senyum and tros jalan masok dalam stesyen LRT Masjid Jamek.... amek tren untuk ke KL Central before taking another train to Setia Jaya....
:)
:D
Have you ever?
Have you ever felt that u just can't give enough to your other half??
Have you ever thought of letting go because you can't do the chores and responsibilities as a good wife?
Have you ever experienced a so-called near death experience that you think will end your life in a blink of an eye?
Have you ever dreamed of starting all over again when you know it is impossible and that you are regretting the things you have done?
Have you ever said things that you don't want to say but at the end of the day wishing that you didn't do what you did?
Have you ever tried to believe in hope but the surrounding was telling you to give up?
Have you ever imagined the feeling of being betrayed?
Have you ever learned anything that at the end of the day you realize that the things you learned are actually useless?
Have you ever loosen up until the moment that you forgot the core of life and love that you built and trusted but it still burns with or without the core - is it the same?
and lastly....
Have you ever lost hope that getting it back is equal to letting go?
...and I cried as I was restlessly trying my best to sleep...
Have you ever thought of letting go because you can't do the chores and responsibilities as a good wife?
Have you ever experienced a so-called near death experience that you think will end your life in a blink of an eye?
Have you ever dreamed of starting all over again when you know it is impossible and that you are regretting the things you have done?
Have you ever said things that you don't want to say but at the end of the day wishing that you didn't do what you did?
Have you ever tried to believe in hope but the surrounding was telling you to give up?
Have you ever imagined the feeling of being betrayed?
Have you ever learned anything that at the end of the day you realize that the things you learned are actually useless?
Have you ever loosen up until the moment that you forgot the core of life and love that you built and trusted but it still burns with or without the core - is it the same?
and lastly....
Have you ever lost hope that getting it back is equal to letting go?
...and I cried as I was restlessly trying my best to sleep...
15 February 2009
waste time chasing cars....
This is my latest craving in the net.... Watched most of the videos... He's funny!! and this is one of the videos he did, it is called Douche Nozzle
And it releases my stress BIG TIME!!
hehehe.....
enjoy!
And it releases my stress BIG TIME!!
hehehe.....
enjoy!
11 February 2009
The One Once: A Confession
I forget about how happy I was when I was in my teen time. People love me. They wanted to be my friends. I was happy when they do that.
I woke this morning at the right side of the bed. Not left but RIGHT side of the bed. I laid there for a few more seconds although my Sony Ericsson Z555i had been snoozing for about 12 times. I took back the path I decided for my life of approaching 24 years old. Some I am really proud of and some I really don't want to remember. I thought about how happy I am to see other people happy. All of the sudden, I felt that I have been straying off too far from my real core - from what I am destined to do. In a blink of an eye, I really wish I can be that person again: The one that puts others before himself.
I realized that I am becoming a colder person. I do things that I know will hurt others. I say things that make lesion bleeds. I give them ideas that persuade them to do things out of their willingness. I did all these and it is not making me happy. I really want to be who I once was. A child who is filled with fantasy, a kid who is easily pleased, a sister who is caring, a daughter who is adorable and proud of herself for things she did for her parents. I am now at the peak of emotions. I am really scared to fall because I have gone way far up - that I may have forgotten how the soil looked like. But, I really want to come down - to where I am really needed. I don't want to stay here and get lost in all of these beautiful stars and auroras. I want the dirty soil as long as I can feel how I felt once.
I took my phone, started to text something in and sent the message to my sisters including my sister in law. I am happy that I took the first step to regain my crown that was once mine.
I woke this morning at the right side of the bed. Not left but RIGHT side of the bed. I laid there for a few more seconds although my Sony Ericsson Z555i had been snoozing for about 12 times. I took back the path I decided for my life of approaching 24 years old. Some I am really proud of and some I really don't want to remember. I thought about how happy I am to see other people happy. All of the sudden, I felt that I have been straying off too far from my real core - from what I am destined to do. In a blink of an eye, I really wish I can be that person again: The one that puts others before himself.
I realized that I am becoming a colder person. I do things that I know will hurt others. I say things that make lesion bleeds. I give them ideas that persuade them to do things out of their willingness. I did all these and it is not making me happy. I really want to be who I once was. A child who is filled with fantasy, a kid who is easily pleased, a sister who is caring, a daughter who is adorable and proud of herself for things she did for her parents. I am now at the peak of emotions. I am really scared to fall because I have gone way far up - that I may have forgotten how the soil looked like. But, I really want to come down - to where I am really needed. I don't want to stay here and get lost in all of these beautiful stars and auroras. I want the dirty soil as long as I can feel how I felt once.
I took my phone, started to text something in and sent the message to my sisters including my sister in law. I am happy that I took the first step to regain my crown that was once mine.
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