The One Once: A Confession

I forget about how happy I was when I was in my teen time. People love me. They wanted to be my friends. I was happy when they do that.

I woke this morning at the right side of the bed. Not left but RIGHT side of the bed. I laid there for a few more seconds although my Sony Ericsson Z555i had been snoozing for about 12 times. I took back the path I decided for my life of approaching 24 years old. Some I am really proud of and some I really don't want to remember. I thought about how happy I am to see other people happy. All of the sudden, I felt that I have been straying off too far from my real core - from what I am destined to do. In a blink of an eye, I really wish I can be that person again: The one that puts others before himself.

I realized that I am becoming a colder person. I do things that I know will hurt others. I say things that make lesion bleeds. I give them ideas that persuade them to do things out of their willingness. I did all these and it is not making me happy. I really want to be who I once was. A child who is filled with fantasy, a kid who is easily pleased, a sister who is caring, a daughter who is adorable and proud of herself for things she did for her parents. I am now at the peak of emotions. I am really scared to fall because I have gone way far up - that I may have forgotten how the soil looked like. But, I really want to come down - to where I am really needed. I don't want to stay here and get lost in all of these beautiful stars and auroras. I want the dirty soil as long as I can feel how I felt once.

I took my phone, started to text something in and sent the message to my sisters including my sister in law. I am happy that I took the first step to regain my crown that was once mine.