A GOOD ONE

The cool breeze that swept the whole of my body made it way past my bed from the glass sliding door, to the door of my new room and went out the other sliding door in the dining room. The chill (and the beeping of my phone) woke me up with a long, satisfied smile on my face. I flipped my phone, read the text, flipped it close and put it next to my pillow. Slowly, I sat myself on my single bed and scratch my chest (don't even wonder)before putting on my shorts and t-shirt. With boulders attached to my feet I walked to the entrance lazily, opened the door and slid the gate. There they were. My brother, Edmund and Mellisa (now happily married)waiting for me to send them to work. Edmund will be taking the bullet and Mellisa is working as a kindergarten teacher now not far from the bullet station. So I drove them there.

Today was the second day I sent and picked them up. Yesterday, while waiting for Mellisa to come back from work, I treated my little brother with an ice cream and iced chocolate and that made his day (it was his first few days of school holidays btw). Later that night, we watched G-FORCE together while lying in front of the telly and he was memorizing the script.

I felt good spending time with my mom too, though she kept on saying I am smelly. hehehe. We talked about past, present and future, and she is quite happy with what I am going through. She just wanted whats best for me. I love you, Mom.

Every once in a while, I received text(s) and call(s) from my dear Mr. Zorro. For a typical-male-ego-type-of-guy, he sure is sweet.

Though I didn't do much for my 2-day break but I think I make full use of it with my family! I have to say, its a good one.

ERM... PANAS (tone high pitch, expression excited)

Apa yang boleh dikata apabila kita rasa kita suke tapi sebenarnya kita tahu kita lebih dari itu?

Well, my friend, that is what (everyone agrees) we call DENIAL.

So, salah ke kalau kita menidakkan perasaan tu untuk beberapa ketika untuk menguji kejituan tujahan rasa cinta itu?

I have to say too much of it can actually kill it... Unless that is the whole IDEA...

ERM... PANAS (tone: high pitch, expression: excited)

SOOOO... That IS the whole IDEA?

dah tu?

I just DONT get you...

Ade jer yang paham... tapi tgk situasi laa... whether or not they want to understand or stay in denial...

Agreed!

ERM... PANAS (tone: high pitch, expression: excited)

ages ago....

Well, life is different now. Seriously it is. But there are things that stay the way they are since the beginning of time. And here are some of those:

24 on the forehead

I should wear a sign on my forehead saying that I am 24 and not some stupid Form 4 students who easily fall for you for a candy. So, I can push away underage idiots who try to hit on me... yerp... you read that rite.... and for no reason at all, I enjoy, very much, their attention - I do, really... sheesh... stop making faces people... hahaha...

Love hunter

I think I was way pass that but actually I am not. I hunt love these days but never actually feel ready to commit to it... I either disappear into thin air or just broke their hearts. But one thing I know for sure... I will not turn around again, no matter how sweet the words used to win me back again... (anna: dont say that I am denying my feeling to a certain someone, I am not denying it - tetibe kilat sambung menyambung cam taw2 jer aku menipu.... hahaha...) And yes, I still hunt love fashionably.

Bubbly

I really thought the bubbly-ness that I have will fade away... But it sticks to me like a mating couple of Limulus Polyphemus... Sheesh... No wonder boys love me... OOOPS... Repetitive statement...

Shopping

Wooo.... This is something that has never changed for like what 27 years of my life? I mean.... Yea, it means what it really means.... You get me? MAYBE... hahaha....

Well, I guess, the long silence was a bliss that gives me a very good span of time to think and get back on track with my life... Of course there are changes to be done, both majors and minors, but hey, I am adaptive to my surrounding, I can do this..

LOVE!
CHILL!!
BLISS!!!

Split second

"So," He put down his fork and knife, lifted his face a little, and looked straight into my eyes. He was in his casual look - jeans, sneakers, AX t-shirt on worked out biceps and six packs, spiky short hair and the best thing is, he doesn't seem his age. He's supposed to look like a father of a girl and someone's husband. He looks like just a year or two older than I am. His deep black eyes pierced mine that bring me back to reality. He was expecting an answer.

"It is hard for me to adjust to my new found title," I whispered.

"I can see that it is not that bad," he gestured to a small plastic bag on the chair.

"Well, I don't earn as much as you do. but I'll survived,"

"Talking about that, would you like to come and join us?" He sipped his red wine but his eyes never left mine.

"Join you as in leaving Malaysia?" I started not to like the idea of moving away.

"Yes, Martha. You know the drill especially in your situation rite now. You need something new to ease the pain," He said in that voice of his. Both concern and authoritative.

"But I like it here," I said. I recollected what happened of about 4 - 5 years back. he held my hands in his, with almost teary eyes. He was trying to say something. But he needed to gather his courage to speak something. I was petrified, it was the crowded airport and he was waiting for his flight. He didn't want to let go of my hands. In the background, I could hear the announcement of final call for his flight. and finally after what seemed to be an eternity, he said the line that will be in my head for the rest of my life - "I love you I do, no matter how hard I try to love other people, you will definitely have that special place in my heart til the end of time. Come with me to New Zealand. Lets start a new life," I was dumbstruck. I couldn't even move. He took in a deep breath, knowing how hard headed I can be. "If that the case... I'll be right beside you if you need just about anything. Name it and I'll try my best to get it for you," with that he hugged me and kissed my lips.

"Martha, are you quite here?" Startled, I knocked down my almost empty glass. But my reflects surprised me when there was not a drop of red wine on the white table cloth. "Sorry I startled you,"

"Its okay," I said. Smiled sheepishly at him and managed to look into his eyes.

"I want you to think about it," He said, trying to persuade me. Although I might already know your answer.

You should have just went for it....

The bullet was not empty but not too crowded at the same time. After a good few minutes of sitting side by side on the bench with hubs, the bullet let out eager passengers, some with Monday Blues look all over their face and soon enough Hub and I were slowly and patiently boarded the bullet - facing the other entrance as Hub would get off at the next station. The closing door shut the exterior noises and slid on the steel railway with appropriate speed.

Soon, the bullet slowed down and I looked at Hub, he has this adoring look in his eyes that all of the sudden gave me a great joy - there's something in his mind that is engineering something. The bullet stop to a halt. He reached for my hand, I kissed it as usual, and he kissed mine - the rule of equality hehehe. Then he said a hug - I hug him back. And then it clicked to me, he wanted to kiss me! but I was having doubts of him doing it and he seemed unsure of it. Then, he asked - "nak kiss," with pouting lips. I don't know where it came from, scanning my surrounding, I said no. BUT lord I wished he would have kissed me on the cheek! That will be so cute. smiling sigh.

The cute and adorable sunshine...

So as I was slouching in my seat, in front of the lappie in the office, I dragged the cursor and clicked on a box that was always ticked previously, led my eyes to read: invisible to everyone. With a short breath, I presumed what will happened in the next 5 minutes.

Dang! My premonition was imprecise. I dont even have to wait for 5 minutes it only take them 10 seconds to fill the entire screen with of about 6 to 7 yahoo messenger boxes. I skimmed and scanned through the boxes, reading the first few words they slammed into the boxes, I exhaled.

Some of them typed "hey cutie", "adory!!", and all the praises you can find there... I didn't reply to any of them. except for one box that caught my eyes... Her first few words were: rindu ur sunshine

Instantly, I wrote in the status section as The Missing A.... simply take away the last letter A from my name "Martha" and you get a name of a lunar crater. Thats how I feel - Just like a lunar crater.

She must have thought the same thing

Matsuda's black chic shirt fits me perfectly, my new pair of boots (which my hub gave me for my birthday), my long pants skinny fit and my lappie bag boosted my confidence trotting into an empty bullet (which rarely happened in the past) heading to the office across town. I settled, standing up - as I don't exercise as much these days only to realize I didn't bring my book with me. Great!! I am going to take in as much as possible the scenery around me - that means looking at other people.

As I was scanning my surrounding, the bullet stop to a halt at Joela Tech Station. Came in a throng of eager (some were sleep walking still) people into the tiny segment of the train. Among many people smelling brands of expensive perfume (I sprayed some generic perfume... LOL) one caught my eyes... and nose too. Trailing the lingering sweet scent of Britney Spears' latest Hidden Fantasy was a woman who soon settled next to me. I looked at her, wild long curls, a huge sunglasses, and black shirt with long pants and a pair of heels attached neatly to her body emphasize her aura of confidence.

Wait... I spoke to myself quietly, taking the side glance of the lady.

Hold on... My cheeks were beginning to filled with high intensity rush of blood.

God, she looks exactly like me, except for the glasses! The words uttered in my mind.

I looked at her, she looked at me, exchanging smiles and we did it. Involuntarily both of us started to move away from each other she moved to her left and I moved to my right and soon enough she was out of sight. I giggled alone. What a coincidence to start a lovely Monday!